Lowkey Happy
Episode Overview: (S4E8) Lowkey Happy” is one of the most beloved episodes of Insecure’s run — a quiet, contained “bottle episode” that’s just Issa and Lawrence spending an entire night together for the first time since their breakup. There’s no big party, no plot twist, no other characters to manage. Just two people who used to know each other sitting at a bar, then a restaurant, then a hotel — having the kind of honest, unguarded conversation most of us hope to have with someone but rarely do.
By the end of the episode, neither of them has solved their lives. They haven’t gotten back together. They haven’t fixed anything. But for one night, they’re both just — lowkey happy. Content in the moment. Present. At peace with what is, instead of fixated on what could be.
And that’s exactly the kind of happiness this post is about. The quiet kind. The kind that doesn’t need to be announced, performed, or compared. The kind that shows up when you’ve finally taken care of yourself, gotten clear on your money, and stopped giving everybody else’s life rent-free space in your head.
If you’ve spent any amount of time around me, you’ve probably heard me say, “I’m just over here drinking my water, managing my money, and minding my business.”
Most people laugh when I say it. But the truth is, that little phrase has become a whole life philosophy for me.
The older I get, the more I realize how much of our stress, frustration, and anxiety comes from focusing on things that aren’t ours to carry. We worry about what everybody else is doing, what everybody else has, what everybody else thinks. And somewhere along the way, we forget to take care of ourselves.
What started as a funny saying has become a reminder of what actually matters.
Drinking My Water
Let’s start with the first part. And yes — I mean literally drinking water.
Because if you’re anything like me, there have been days where you’ve consumed coffee, tea, soda, and everything in between… except water. But for me, drinking my water represents something bigger. It represents taking care of myself — paying attention to my physical health, my mental health, my emotional well-being, and my spiritual life.
As women — especially those of us who are ambitious, nurturing, and constantly pouring into other people — it’s easy to find ourselves running on empty. We’re taking care of children, spouses, parents, businesses, ministries, careers, clients, and communities. We become so focused on everybody else’s needs that we forget we have any of our own.
At some point I realized that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s stewardship.
God can’t use a version of me that’s constantly exhausted, depleted, and burned out. So drinking my water is my way of reminding myself that I matter too.
Managing My Money
Now y’all knew I couldn’t write a blog without talking about money.
But when I say manage your money, I’m talking about so much more than budgeting. I’m talking about being intentional. Understanding where your money is going. Making sure it’s aligned with the life you’re actually trying to build.
One of the biggest misconceptions people have is that financial confidence comes from having more money. It doesn’t.
I’ve met people making six figures who are stressed every month. And I’ve met people with modest incomes who sleep peacefully at night.
Confidence comes from clarity.
There’s something powerful about knowing where you stand financially. There’s peace in knowing your bills are covered, your goals have a plan, and your spending reflects your priorities. Managing your money gives you options. It gives you flexibility. It gives you the confidence to make decisions from a place of purpose instead of panic.
Minding My Business
And then there’s my favorite part.
Listen, this one has gotten easier with age.
The older I get, the less interested I am in monitoring somebody else’s life. I don’t have the energy to worry about who bought what, who got promoted, who moved, who started a business, who got married, who got divorced, who’s carrying a luxury bag, or who’s flying first class.
(And if you’ve read Lowkey Feelin’ Myself, you already know how I feel about people who are mad about other people’s luxury choices.)
Honestly, I have enough work to do in my own life.
I’ve learned that comparison is expensive. It steals your joy, distracts you from your purpose, and keeps you focused on someone else’s assignment instead of your own.
Galatians 6:4 says it this way: “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.” That verse is the comparison antidote. And it took me years to actually live it out.
The truth is, many of us would have a whole lot more peace if we spent less time scrolling, judging, comparing, and analyzing other people’s decisions. Not because we don’t care about people — but because God never called us to manage everybody else’s life. He called us to steward our own.
Some of the greatest growth I’ve ever experienced came when I stopped trying to explain myself to people who were committed to misunderstanding me. Some of the greatest peace I’ve ever experienced came when I stopped seeking approval and started focusing on what God called me to do.
Take 2022.
In February, I went to Cabo. In March, I went to the Dominican Republic. Same year, different reasons. And of course, the comments came in: “Here you go again, always on the road.”
Guess who had the time of her life?
The next year, I was in Hawaii and bought a luxury bag. I remember coming home and immediately catching myself trying to explain the purchase — “it’s actually way cheaper there than in the States.” As if anybody asked. As if my receipts needed a court hearing.
And then I caught myself.
Why was I explaining anything to people who weren’t planning to buy one anyway? Why was I justifying my joy to spectators? Why was I treating my own life like it needed defending?
That was the moment something shifted. I stopped offering explanations to people who weren’t paying for any of it. And the peace that showed up in its place? Quiet. Steady. Earned.
And the one person who was actually impacted by any of it — my husband — was the one cheering the loudest. He told me to go more. He told me to buy more. He loved that for me.
Because the people who genuinely love you aren’t keeping a tally of your spending or counting your trips. They’re the ones telling you to go again and encouraging you to create joyful business.
Coming from where I came from — growing up in poverty — there was a time when I thought success was about acquiring more. More money. More things. More accomplishments. More recognition.
But the older I get, the more I realize:
Success is about peace.
It’s being healthy enough to enjoy your life. It’s having confidence in your decisions. It’s managing your resources well. It’s creating a life that aligns with your values. It’s staying focused on your purpose instead of getting distracted by everybody else’s.
That’s why this phrase resonates with me so deeply.
Drinking my water means I’m taking care of myself. Managing my money means I’m being a good steward. Minding my business means I’m staying focused on my assignment.
And honestly? Life gets a whole lot better when you do all three.
So if you’re looking for advice today, that’s all I’ve got.
Drink your water. Manage your money. Mind your business.
You might be surprised how much peace is waiting for you on the other side.
What’s one thing you stopped paying attention to that gave you back your peace?